So Why Are You Going to Israel?

That was the first of about fifty questions that the El Al security officer posed to me at JFK International airport yesterday. The exchange, as I recall, went as follows:

Security Officer: "So why are you going to Israel, Mr. White?" (<--insert thick Middle Eastern accent)
Me: "To study in Tel Aviv. I'm getting a Master's degree and learning Hebrew and Arabic."
Security Officer: "Have you taken Hebrew classes?"
Me: "No."
Security Officer: "Have you ever even attempted to speak Hebrew?"
Me: "No."
Security Officer: "And yet you're going to learn to do so?"
Me: "I hope so. Yea."
Security Officer: "At what school?"
Me: "Tel Aviv Univer..."
Security Officer: "Are you Jewish?"
Me: "No. I'm a Christian."
Security Officer: "Are you bringing any packages to Israel?"
Me: "No. I don't know anyone in Israel."
Security Officer: "How did you get here?"
Me: "Excuse me?"
Security Officer: "How did you get to be standing in front of me?"
Me: "You called me over here."
Security Officer: "Funny. I see you've never even left the United States. Why?"
Me: "I'm a fan of America I guess."
Security Officer: "And you chose Israel as your first destination? Curious."
Me: "I've always loved Israel and the Jewish people."
Security Officer: "So you love me do you?"
Me: "In a non-creepy sort of way. Yes."
Security Officer: "I'm sure. Wait right here."

What followed was a nightmare of security procedures that resulted in me and five other American students being personally taken aside and methodically checked and re-checked. We were told that we would not be allowed to go through the TSA security checkpoint or board El Al Flight #002 without a personal escort. Which is precisely what occurred.

Fortunately, I was able to meet several of my fellow MAMEH students through this process. And in a strange reminder of just how small this world is, one of the guys in the Master's program with me, Dustin Carmack, is friends with Rachael Tucker from Auburn. They both interned at the Heritage Foundation together and he pretty much jumped into this thing headfirst for the same reasons I did.

And as a sidebar, he is non-Jewish, a Missouri native, can't speak a lick of Hebrew, and sticks out like a sorethumb due to his height, build, hair color, and southern accent. Basically, he's a tall blond-haired, blue-eyed German who clearly "ain't from around these parts." Between the two of us, we should provide endless amounts of entertainment for our fellow Ulpan (Hebrew) classmates.

Anyway, as we were being frog-marched (much to my amusement) past lines of people waiting to have their security check a girl quipped "Hey! Why do you guys get to go ahead of us?" My response: "We're special like that." Her more impressive response: "Like special ed special?"

Touche unknown female. Touche.

We were the last of the American students to board the outbound flight, which was absolutely crammed with Israelis returning home and with American Jews heading over to visit. And I still haven't the faintest idea what any of us did to deserve such scrutiny. Well aside from Dustin being a giant Aryan...

The flight was a mixture of good and bad. It was just shy of 10 hours. The food they served was delicious and the selection of movies was impressive. I watched I Love You, Man for the second time. Haven't seen it since Mahal and I went a few months ago when it was in theaters. It's still as stellar as it was the first go around.

The problems were obvious from the moment we took off. I wasn't able to sleep due to little leg room and a massive time difference swing. In fact, I still haven't gone to bed. That's about to change. It's 7:35 p.m. here and my eyes are starting to get a bit heavy.

I'll pick back up tomorrow about our arrival in Israel and I'll go into some more detail about the people and events in the coming days.

So far so good. The dorms are actually a lot nicer than I anticipated. So no worries there.